Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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