DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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