Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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