your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
