Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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