11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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