I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
