I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
