Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
