i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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