he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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