i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
