Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
