Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
