Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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