absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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