Me. At least after what I've been through.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
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