ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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