i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I am mentally ready for anal.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
