I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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