Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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