they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
