There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
