I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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