dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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