Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
