I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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