we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
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