Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
only you would photoshop your dick
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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