I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
