i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
