Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
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I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
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He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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