Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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