you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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