Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
