And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
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just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
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People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
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