too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
