if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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