once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
