if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
