Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
