u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
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He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
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I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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