I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
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Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
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i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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