We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
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I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
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Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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