I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
