yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
