Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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