my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
