"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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