you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
