I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
