She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
please come you make the beer taste better
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
