I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
