If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
