yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
