I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
