Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
