return my video game
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
