waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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